How to Level Up Your Life Without Anyone’s Approval
Have you ever screenshot a business idea, bookmarked that bucket list adventure, or saved endless Instagram posts… all while never actually taking action?
Yeah, you’re not alone. But if you want to level up your life without waiting for anyone’s approval, you need to stop outsourcing your decisions.
Picture this: You’ve got this brilliant idea brewing in your mind. Could be:
- a career change
- starting that side hustle
- finally booking that solo trip you’ve been fantasising about for months.
But instead of jumping in, you find yourself asking around for other people’s thoughts, essentially asking for permission to live your own bloody life instead of trusting your own instincts.
Here’s the thing that’ll probably sting – 78% of people report making major life decisions based on what others might think rather than their own desires.
We’re literally outsourcing our life choices to people who aren’t even living our lives!
The worst part? While you’re sitting there waiting for someone else to give you the green light…
Your dreams are getting dusty.
Your potential is gathering cobwebs.
And every day you wait is another day someone else with half your qualifications is building the life you’re dreaming about.
And that voice in your head – the one that whispers “but what if they think I’m mad?” – is getting louder.
Stanford researchers found that people who rely heavily on external approval show decreased creativity, lower persistence, and higher anxiety levels. Seeking validation isn’t just limiting your potential – it’s actively sabotaging your growth.
The women who seem to “just go for it” don’t have some magical confidence gene – they’ve shifted from external validation to internal validation.
They see themselves as the CEO of their own life, not the intern waiting for feedback.
This is how you can shift into being a self-led woman.
Step 1: Recognise Your Need For “Permission”
You’ve been conditioned to believe that your own judgment isn’t enough.
I call this “student mentality” – you’re forever waiting for teacher’s approval to move to the next level. Except you’re not in school anymore, and there’s no teacher coming.
The belief keeping you stuck: “I need others to validate my choices before I can trust them.”
Your mind still equates “being wrong” with getting in trouble. This people-pleasing pattern keeps you stuck in this exhausting loop, outsourcing your decisions to protect yourself from… what exactly? The truth is, you’re trying to avoid feeling like that kid who gave the wrong answer in class. But the only person keeping you in detention now is you.
Want to explore how women self-abandon? 3 Subtle Ways Women Quietly Abandon Themselves – and the Identity Shifts to Reclaim Your Power reveals the identity-level blocks keeping you stuck – and how to shift them.
Action Step: For the next 7 days, catch yourself asking “What do you think?” or screenshot something to send to a friend before deciding. Don’t try to change it – just witness how often you hand your power away. You can’t shift what you’re not aware of.
Here’s the thing – surface-level awareness won’t cut it. These approval-seeking patterns are wired into your subconscious identity. Until you address the deeper programming that says ‘I need others to validate me to be safe,’ you’ll keep cycling back to the same old patterns.
Step 2: Reframe “Failure” as Data Collection
Fear of failure is such a silent fear.
That voice that whispers “What if I try and it doesn’t work out?”
It’s not just about the outcome – it’s…
- the embarrassment of failing
- the fear of looking incapable
- the worry that others will laugh.
Society has conditioned us to see mistakes as personal shortcomings rather than valuable feedback for personal transformation.
We’ve been taught that “failing” means something is wrong with us, not just that we need to adjust our approach.
The belief keeping you stuck: “Making mistakes means I’m not capable, and I can’t be trusted with important decisions.”
But here’s the truth – failure isn’t failure. It’s data. It’s feedback telling you what worked, what didn’t, and what needs tweaking. Failure is just a story you’re telling yourself about something not going to plan.
Action Step: Write down 3 things from your past that you consider “failures.” Next to each one, write what you actually learned. Rewrite each “failure” as “feedback that led me to…”
Why is this so hard to change? Your nervous system is wired to remember “failures” as threats to avoid, not lessons to learn from. It’s trying to keep you safe by making you fear anything that didn’t go perfectly the first time.
But this outdated safety mechanism is actually what’s keeping you stuck – your brain thinks it’s protecting you, but it’s really just keeping you small. The good news? This programming can be rewired at the subconscious level.
Step 3: Stop Waiting
Waiting breeds waiting.
It’s a vicious cycle that keeps you stuck, looping in outdated patterns instead of moving toward the life you actually want.
While you’re sitting there analysing every possible outcome, someone else with half your qualifications is already three steps ahead. Not because they’re smarter, but because they started.
The belief keeping you stuck: “If I make the wrong choice, it’ll be a disaster.”
But here’s what’s really a disaster – staying exactly where you are because you’re terrified of making an imperfect move.
Newsflash: there’s no perfect choice. There’s only the choice that gets you moving.
Action Step: Make one tiny decision daily without consulting anyone. Order a different coffee. Take a new route home. Pick a book based purely on gut instinct. Train your decision-making muscle on low-stakes choices first.
UCLA brain imaging studies show that when you practice independent decision-making, you literally strengthen the brain areas linked to confidence while reducing your brain’s fear response to social judgment. Their research demonstrates that small acts of self-direction can rewire the brain, increasing self-trust while quieting fear circuits. So every time you choose that different coffee, say what you actually think, or set a boundary – you’re not just making a decision. You’re reinforcing the neural pathways of self-assurance and building the kind of confidence that lasts.
This is exactly why I created the Identity Rebrand™ Method – because willpower alone isn’t enough. You need to rewire the subconscious programs keeping you stuck.
To fast-track this transformation, reprogram your deeper story around failure and success so you can stop looping in outdated patterns and start moving toward the life you actually want.
The bottom line is that no one else is living in your skin, dealing with your unique circumstances, or carrying your specific dreams. They can’t possibly know what’s right for you better than you do.
Now, I know what you might be thinking:
“But what if I make terrible decisions on my own?”
There’s a massive difference between seeking input and seeking permission. Confident women gather information – they don’t outsource the final decision.
So here’s my challenge: Take one of those screenshot business ideas or bookmarked adventures collecting digital dust – and make a move. Not the perfect move. Just a move.
Subscribe to Wild Musings
Weekly letters for the woman reclaiming her power, rewriting her story, and living by her own rules. Think of it as whispers from your wildest self – bold truths, deep shifts, and permission to lead unapologetically, from the woman you were always meant to be.
P.S. You’ll get a Free Embody Your Future Self Guide when you sign up!
Your life is happening right now. Not when you feel 100% certain (spoiler: that never comes). Right bloody now.
The approval you’re seeking? It was inside you all along. Time to give it to yourself.
Ready to dive deeper into the identity work that creates lasting confidence? The Identity Rebrand™ Method shows you exactly how to become the woman who trusts herself completely.
Ready to make this real?
1. Be Her Now – A self-guided journey for the woman done hiding and ready to rise.
Rooted in the Identity Rebrand Method™ – Subconscious rewiring. Vision activation. Embodiment rituals.
£27. Start now and begin showing up as her – today.
2. Free Identity Rebrand Audit™ Guide – A bold first step toward the woman you’re becoming.
Uncover what’s holding you back and map your next-level self.
PS. Not ready to go all-in?
Subscribe to Wild Musings – weekly letters for the woman reclaiming her power, rewriting her story, and living by her own rules.
Think of it as whispers from your wildest self – bold truths, deep shifts, and permission to lead unapologetically, from the woman you were always meant to be.
